Powerful Duo

Me and my mom is such a powerful duo. She always wonders "what can we do to improve things?" and I always give an answer about how are things can be improved. 

Several days ago, my mom came to my brother's room (but it's kinda my room too since my brother let me sleep in his room). I forgot the exact details but there was one moment where my mom said something like... "Look at your room, how is it? Isn't the bed good here?" then I said something like "Oh yes! Totally! But also, how if we put a nice wallpaper on these walls?", then my mom agreed on that.

This is just a small thing but after the wallpaper are all set, the room looks better than ever. The room is just more aesthetically pleasing than before. Now, I just feel the good vibe and knowing that my mood is being elevated just because I am in this room. I express gratitude seeing that some parts of my parents' house become more beautiful. 

This is not my room but this is the exact wallpaper that I am talking about
Source: Tokopedia

Then what's going on with such term of a powerful duo?

Later on that night I watched the video from Mindvalley Channel on YouTube. The first time I found this video is around 4 to 5 years ago (this video was uploaded in 2011). I have watched this video several times and will keep coming back to watch this one because the content is excellent!

The name of the speaker is Christie Marie Sheldon and she is such an excellent speaker! 

There is some part on that video that says something like "By you just becoming more you, you can affect your surrounding", I was like oh daaang! Look at my surrounding now, it has changed! Haha. 

I mean, imagine if my mom didn't wonder about what can we do to improve the room?

Imagine if I didn't focus myself on making things more beautiful?

Imagine if I didn't think about what should we do to make things more beautiful?

Daang! Maybe everything would be different.

This is a very small thing but actually this kind of thing can be applied to anything else. 

Now that the room is more beautiful, I express gratitude more. The more I express gratitude, the more joy I have. The more joy I have, the more good things are coming. The beautiful thing that I witness now was started from myself. It was just an idea, it was just a human being's thought about how are things become more beautiful. Now that my parents' house is more beautiful than ever, I have never been more grateful that I live here for a while. When my mom is in alignment with herself, and me is in alignment with myself, when we meet together, boom! The house's vibe is changing! What a powerful duo haha. 

My Ego Is Gone Now

My ego is gone now
I am ready to understand you better

I know it,

You were waiting for someone from the past

You got beautiful memories from the past

Till I came to your life and changed something

But honestly,

I am okay here

I’m truly happy to see you happy

It’s okay to leave me here

Cause I already have a beautiful story

It’s nice knowing you

It's nice to love each other

But now I wanna go

And please let me go

Just like me letting you go happily

We are not properties to be owned

We are humans that want to flourish

My ego is gone now

I hope yours too

On Being Hesitant To Express Something

Have you ever been so hesitant to express something?
In my case, I am a little hesitant to write this because I could see the point where people might not get this message right. It felt like there is no point of writing this at all.

Of course, the past event is the cause of all of this. Some people take our opinion in a wrong way. The memory of those who took my affection for granted is holding me back to express tenderness. And for sure, the memory of those "friends" who accused me for doing something that I have never meant to do made me think twice, do they even deserve my attention?

We all have our own story why we get here, but one thing that we should always remember is
"Their problem is theirs, not yours. Your problem is yours, not theirs"

It's their problem to take you in a wrong way, but it's your problem to over think.
It's their problem to take you for granted, maybe they don't understand sincerity. But it's totally your problem if you stop being kind.
It's their problem to start the fire, but it's totally your problem if you got the ill feeling about it.
And so on...and so on...

What we can do is to fix our own problems. Our main problem is we are hesitant, that we over think, that we are afraid. Acknowledge it first, accept it, and let it go.

When I become hesitant I shift my focus and be grateful to feel hesitant. Why the heck we should be grateful for being hesitant? I see it as an opportunity for growth. I withdraw for a while not because I want to escape, but I want to shift my energy to be more positive. If I wasn't hesitant maybe I would just act aggressively to anything. When I withdraw I start to think those who matter more in my life. Why we should think about those who did us wrong while we could just focus our energy to those people we love?

So yeah, just keep being kind. As you forgive, you release anything that have held you back. Do your own part and leave the rest to the universe!

Truth

Truth might hurt you for days
But it won't be holding you back for years

I am fine

Just please tell me that I am insignificant
I am fine
I know I am significant, but not in your life.

Just please tell me that I am nothing
I am fine
I know I am everything for someone, but not for you.

Just please tell me that you are fine without me
I am fine
I know I will be fine without you too, but not today.

Just please tell me that you do not need me
I am fine
I know I need you today, but I will never need you anymore. 

4 PM

It was 4 PM, 

you were sitting by the lake

It was 4 PM,

You thought about those...

Those you have dated

Those you have kissed

Those you have slept with

It was 4 PM,

You wondered why were there not so many meaningful memories?

You wondered why were you still looking for me in someone else’s body?

You wondered why do not both of us settle down? Together?

It was almost 5 PM,

I told you that this is impossible

Cause I am already you

Honesty

You deserve honesty
When you are always honest with yourself

You deserve honesty
When you are honest with your true feeling

You deserve honesty
When you always speak honestly

You deserve honesty
When you are the true honesty

Six

It’s number six,
You’ve been living there for more than six months

It takes more than six,
Countless people had taken me somewhere

It’s less than six,
It’s been more than four years since the last time

It’s more than six,
It’s ten fingers of yours that I want to touch

It’s not six,
You’re number one here...right now

Congratulations

I have been telling myself that this is nothing

This is something that we should have never fight

I let you get it

I let myself stay in here

You would say that I should have taken the chance

Only when I don’t take the chance

And let you take the chance

Don’t you know that a lot of people can be happy together?

Don’t you know that there are more than two  choices, not just friends and enemies?

You would say that I am wrong

Only when I don’t let myself to be a victim

And let you be the victim

Who wants to be a victim anyway?

Who wants to be in the silly game?

Who wants to be in someone’s trauma bond?

Congratulations for getting everything that you desire,

Congratulations for reassuring yourself that you didn’t sacrifice some meaningful things,

Congratulations for telling yourself that you did this not because of your ego

Congratulations for me that I am finally free!

Innocent

Here comes this innocent guy

He does what he does

He thinks what he thinks

Yet, some people are poisoned

Here comes this innocent guy

He’s feeling the feel

He’s loving the love

Yet, some people are too delicate

Here comes this innocent guy

He is strong

He is resilient

Yet, some people are offended

This guy is aware 

This guy can sense

Whatever happens to this guy

Whatever things can bring down this guy

Whatever blame that he was expected to take

He knows the truth,

He is innocent.

Complete

You know I could fall for you
You know I will always ready for you to come here

You know I was needing you
You know I will always listen to you whenever you come

But I am safe here,
I know who I really am

I know you are beautiful
I know you are wonderful
I know you are irresistible
But I know my life is better without you

I know I could fall for you
I know I could love you
I know I was missing you
But I know I am so complete without you

I am feeling complete
I am feeling complete
Now I know I could love you,
When you are already whole and complete.